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Luxon slates “C-listers” and “tag-alongs”

PM also unveils new “fit-for-purpose” aircraft

New Zealand’s most popular Prime Minister for the week ending 02/06/23, Christopher Luxon, has surprised media outlets by describing some government officials as C-listers and tag-alongs. He refused to name names, but sources close to the PM speaking on condition of anonymity told WWNews it’s kinda obvious who he meant:

In other news, the PM has changed his position on replacing the government’s aging VIP transport aircraft, almost as often as he’s been forced to change actual aircraft in recent days. After initially appearing reluctant to commit precious tax-payers’ money to buying new planes likely to reach their destination without stopping along the way for more gaffer tape on the piston rings, Mr Luxon now seems keen for something more upmarket and reliable. “We will still not be spending precious taxpayers’ funds on the purchase of any new planes,” he might have said. “We will make sure any upgrades will be paid for by non-precious taxpayers, the same ones whose health, education and road safety we no longer cover.”

A Bellson Wissles FU23 executive jet is currently top of the government’s wishlist
The jet’s interior has seating for one, with genuine vegan leather kneeling pads for support staff

One Comment

  1. Oolon Oolon 19 June 2024

    Harrumph.. It was good enough for the Ardern Guvmint…Harrumph… Er… I’m running out of authentic backwoods NZILD gibberish to throw in here. My media adviser, Gabby Johnson, is attending yet another Blazing Saddles convention.

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