The Man of the Moment profiled by A.G.O’Groffy, Staff Writer, WWNews
Of such resilience that he’s been elected to the House on five separate occasions, and for two different parties, he is, as he himself might put it, the Matua. And as the Matua has made clear, you provoke him at your peril.
To be an MP requires a thick skin. Water must roll off the back. One must not duck, and instead let criticism bounce harmlessly from the ministerial chest. And bounce it does…
Like just last month, when it was reported that the Great Man had spent three times the GNP of the Baltic nations on a trip to Toronto for a Summit of the Ministers of Mines – What mines? It’s ours was the theme – when back in Wellington the accounts dept had budgeted $3.50 for the bus and a night in a backpackers’. Rather than take the way of the weak and attempt to justify the expenditure, Shane attributed the blow-out to an administrative error and reminded critics that the details are attended to by the minions while the Matua must focus on the bigger picture.
And anyway, hotel corridors are long and it makes sense to have a limo to get from one’s suite to the arboretum for a spa.
This kind of media obsession with minutiae diminishes Jonesy’s other achievements, of which there have been some: An earlier government’s ban on oil and gas was reversed. Chalk one up for common sense. The smokefree generation laws repealed, a Minerals Strategy launched, an LNG terminal — at a billion dollars and counting — well, common sense will be along soon on that one, mark our words.
Out on the water, Shane proposed making life easier for commercial fishers, freeing them from the oppressive burden of leaving fish in the ocean. It very nearly happened until this visionary reform was blindsided by a myopic PM and anyone else who didn’t own a commercial fishing licence.
The Fast-Track scheme was driven off the rails by the independent panel set up to run it, a seabed mine was outvoted by a nearby mountain… none of this reflects badly on the Minister, but on the inadequacy of those around him.
Inadequacy is not a word one might use to describe Shane’s grasp of the English language, – it’s not so much a grasp as a two-handed vice-like rip around the throat and a knee in the small of the back.
Reluctant to use a single word when many – including a spiritual reference, three Shakespearean quotes and a dangling particle – will suffice, the Matua approaches the language as he approached the Resource Management Act – as something that has been unnecessarily constrained for too long, and which will only reach its full potential once it’s allowed to run free.
Rhetoric flows like butter chicken tsunamis, with nods to communist judges, the friends of Freddie the frog, the sickbed of economic anaemia, and the immortal declaration that the media will never cancel him. The media responds that it’s washing its hair that night.
Occasionally it’s been suggested he might have gone too far, like f’rinstance the time Shane’s comments on folks south of a border earned a reminder from his leader to watch his language. Shane watched it and declared it to be in fine shape.
But he does apologise: not the craven, unconditional apology of the lesser politician, choosing instead a more lofty, architecturally complex structure in which regret is expressed for the misunderstanding of others, and context is extensively provided. It is an art form, and like all art forms, improves with practice.
Despite his detractors – those lesser beings motivated by jealousy, feelings of inferiority and their own guilt – Shane Jones has always been a man ahead of his time. Statistically his might not be the most robustly earned seat, but it’s still his and he’s going to hang on to it for a good while yet, as long as there’s work to be done. For wherever there are ministries requiring guidance, journalists requiring correction, and microphones requiring occupation, the Matua will be there.
- A. G. O’Groffy has had a lengthy career in profiling the rich, the powerful and the overly self-confident. Before joining the WWNews team he was best known for his three-volume biographical treatise “Attila – was he misHunderstood”?