The ACT party continues to make important policy announcements, including ones not thought up on the spot by Paul Henry. Today’s dead-cert vote winner has a catchy slogan – one law for all, one future together – and aims to put equal rights and the rule of law at the heart of the New Zealand constitution. Focussing on property rights and reigning in activist judges, the policy adds a number of amendments to key pieces of legislation – including the Bill of Rights Act, Constitution Act and Legislation Act. Cynics have said it’s really just ACT’s second attempt to consign Te Tiriti to a glass case at Te Papa, and other cynics might say a better slogan would be “Hey, it was a fair fight back then and we won, get used to it”.
Also today, the National Party promised that, if re-elected on November or even sooner, there will be no new taxes, with the Prime Potato saying “National believes that New Zealand should be a country where if you work hard, you can get ahead.” He went on – as he does but you get used to tuning out – he went on to add that “part of that means keeping taxes low so New Zealanders can keep more of what they earn and have more choices about what they and their family can do with their money.” Like spending it on private health care, uber ambulances and unfunded drugs, and splashing out what’s left – after paying for almost-potable water – on private education for your kids.
The Minister of Finance unveiled a plan on Tuesday aimed at reducing the financial burden to the government of NZ Super and other pensions. “We’ve brought in new standards for DIY installation of electrical components,” a spokesperson told WWNews. “You know, the ones that someone just pointed out could electrocute entire neighborhoods if installed incorrectly. which is apparently easy to do. I mean, who could have possibly known?”
Later in the week, Police Minister Mark Mitchell announced, in a WWNews Exclusive, a bold new road safety initiative that would see responsibility for prosecuting errant drivers moved from Police control to the admins of the various “Sh*t Drivers of…” Facebook pages. “These pages are doing a sterling job already,” the Minister may have said. “So it makes sense to give them some official credit, and free up frontline police for more important duties, like clearing their browser history and apologising for bullying and other improper staff interactions.” Admins of the “Sh*t drivers of Putaruru” page, Haydn Graydon and Jayden Spreydon, applauded the move, promising to keep up the good work exposing overseas-born drivers, bad parkers and EV owners generally.
To show just how rosy the future looks, the government this week announced forward planning for infrastructure projects over the next 30 years, at a cost of $270 billion dollars. Current reserves sit at around sixpence ha’penny. If you’d like to contribute your entire savings, text 0700-SUCKERS now.
After a much more positive week in the House, and on the road (though not the cycleway outside his flat), the PM was again able to reassure all that he has the full support of Caucus:
