The Crimes Amendment Bill, which aims at cutting down public disorder, shoplifting and plain scofflawery, has come into law just in time for the pre-Boxing Day bargains retail season.

In a nutshell, which is where it was conceived, the Bill expands on existing provisions in the law for citizens’ arrests – the ones where ordinary citizens are able to arrest other citizens, not the existing practice of police being able to detain citizens when time and crewing requirements allow.

Any member of the public can now use “reasonable force” to detain someone committing any Crimes Act offence – like planting explosives at the base of the Skytower or low-level daytime shoplifting – at any time of day. Previously, that power only applied between 9pm and 6am, or to offences carrying at least three years’ imprisonment.

The Bill’s architect Paul Goldsmith, Minister for Justice, Yarts and all portfolios Chris Penk held prior to his self-defenestration, is believed to have said the rewrite was necessary to allow 24/7 arrest rights for all citizens but mainly shop-keepers.

“I mean look,” he might have told WWNews if we’d asked him. “If some little toerag nicks a packet of chips and a vape on the way to intermediate, retailers have to be able to do something about it. Otherwise what kind of message are we sending?”

The Minister probably defined reasonable force as “well, they obviously should use common sense, softish cable ties and thin ropes – oh yeah and we discourage them from blocking airways or using cast-iron implements”.

Reaction to the new Bill has not been entirely positive, and not just from citizens concerned their rights to acquire stuff at affordable rates may be impacted.

Retail NZ ­– the umbrella group representing the majority of large retail companies, smaller retail outlets and a tattoo parlour in Norsewood – has told its members not to carry out any form of citizens’ arrests. “For a start most stores don’t have cells and gaolers to hold detained allegees until the police arrive,” Retail NZ spokesperson Kenny Hepyew told WWNews. “Then there’s the worry that career shoplifters will tool up, knowing they’re likely to be thrown to the ground and cudgeled.”

“Look, it’s not mandatory,” the Minister said in response. “If some retailers want to let people steal from them and just walk away, that’s up to them.” As he pointed out, the law was there for the protection of those retailers who did want to be able to prevent their stock disappearing and not get in trouble for um er detaining an alleged person.

In addition, there are added safeguards in place. “We’ve thought of everything,” the Minister might have said. “If you want to citizenically arrest someone, once you’ve got them on the ground you’ll need to call the police to discuss the next step, possibly even texting a pic of how many notches are left on the cable tie, or if your knee across the throat might impede the toddler’s breathing, but again, these are things that can be worked out at the time.”

NZ Police themselves have publicly advised that in most situations, people should simply call 111 rather than attempt an arrest at all — and warned that officers “will not have the luxury of just dropping tools” to respond quickly to citizens’ arrests. [This part is accurate – Ed.]