Keeping it, simple

Here at WWNews we’re on a mission.  We know how busy the likes of John Keys and Judith Collins are.  So we’ve got a suggestion.  Next time they’re fronting up to the media when they could be not signing secret deals or not accepting kickbacks, they should just give one-word answers.  The same word.  To every question.

Let’s try a word – ‘very.”  See below how it might work.  We think you’ll be impressed.

• Just how stupid do you think the New Zealand public is?
• How irritated do you get when journalists ask annoying questions instead of letting you get on with the important job of personal aggrandisement?
• How unlikely is it that your stay in Parliament will produce anything of lasting benefit to New Zealand?
• How entitled are you?
• How often will any headline about you name contain words like “denies”,  “plays down” or “refutes”?

This system not only makes it easier for Mr Keys, Mrs Collins and the others by not forcing them to think on their feet (not easy when they’re cloven), but it makes the media work a little harder at making up questions – sort of like Jeopardy but without the cheap and nasty prizes.

Have a go yourself – with ‘never’, ‘once’, ‘imperceptibly’ and ‘chartreuse’.  Send your answers, sorry, questions along with a $100 note to Snouts out of my Trough, Private Bag, Thorndon 6001.