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Seymour claims victory, says supporters outnumbered protesters but turned up at wrong venue

“There’s a Parliament Buildings just outside Mataura,” the buoyant soon-to-be-Deputy-PM-for-a-few-days told WWNews. “And someone didn’t check Google Maps properly. There’ll be ructions, I can tell you.”

Meanwhile, Mr Seymour is working on a new bill aimed at raising the eligibility age for NZ Super to 93, backdated to 1986. “The refunds will help fund essential things like the America’s Cup challenge and tax relief for impoverished property developers,” he explained. “I can’t see anyone complaining about that. Or even turning up to protest rallies – they won’t be able to afford to charge their mobility scooters for the trip in.”

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