X Factor NZ announces two new judges

Producers of the beleaguered theft-by-text-charges talent show X Factor have announced two new judges for the programme, saying that the troubled series is at last back on track.

“We’ve had a few teething troubles but they seem to be behind us now,” Mediaworks spokesperson Lyla Lyrapantsonfire told WWNews once we’d accepted the charges. “In hindsight we shouldn’t have picked a criminal or a couple of drug-addled loudmouths but the Cricket World Cup had already bagsed the best cameramen. And as for Kills Bill and Barkinatta Moon – who knew?”

Ms Lyrapanstonfire denied that pressure had come from the network’s programming head Julie ‘Auntie’ Christie for the show to clean up its act. “Julie is far too busy helping design our nation’s flag to take on the micro-management of a show that can’t win a ratings battle against the test-chart,” she said. “She does send us the odd text from time to time and a brick just missed the director last night, but luckily he ducked and was able to read the note before the show came off air.”

The new judges will join the programme in three weeks, unless they can be edited in to the existing live shows before then.