Press "Enter" to skip to content

The Weakly Whirled News

PM announces emergency closure of everything

The Prime Minister of New Zealand John Keys took the unusual step of appearing simultaneously on radio, television and online media tonight to make a special announcement to all New Zealanders except those who’ve ditched FTA and Natrad for Netflix and old copies of the Truth. The simulcast, usually the province of non-journalistic free-associationists like Mike Hoskings, was…