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Hoskings: I am not a stooge, or a journalist neither

Celebrity viewpointer Mike Hoskings has hit back at suggestions that he’s a National Party stooge.

That claim was made yesterday by Lone Voice In The Common Sense Wilderness Winston Peters, but Hoskings this morning took the rare step of speaking about himself on his radio show, between writing columns for newspapers and getting ready for his television programme.

stooges“I have never been a stooge,” he said. “A Goon perhaps, a Smothers Brother, even a Laurel or a Hardy, but never a Stooge – not for anyone, especially the National Party. Besides, those roles are already taken.”

Mr Hoskings said he was unsure why Peters had singled him out for attention.  “He might have been in a bad mood, or seeking attention, who knows,” he said. “He might even have been thinking of Paul Henry, although God knows why – no one else is.”

Hoskings has also denied being a journalist, a fact backed up by at least one of the shows he works on, sorry, runs singlehandedly. “Journalists deal in facts,” he said.  “Or they used to – today they merely check the spelling of tweets before putting them online.  And that’s something I’ve never had any time for – facts are for people who don’t have the intelligence to make things up for themselves.”

Given the choice between googling something or even looking through a book, Mr Hoskings said, most New Zealanders would prefer to learn things from him.  “I cut through the crap, filter out the nonsense and tell it how it should be,” he said before getting into his Lambo and driving to the office espresso machine.



  1. Jonh MbCthe Jonh MbCthe 18 August 2015

    Mike himself could not have written this better!

  2. Phil O'Brien Phil O'Brien 18 August 2015

    A brilliant bit of satire. Sadly there will be people who miss the point entirely. The sort of people who wear hats when they drive ….

  3. Michelle Scullion Michelle Scullion 19 August 2015

    Poor wee Michael – leave him alone you big bully – you are taller than him aren’t you? Nah – just kidding – gold writing, and ironically tinged with a bit of truth – I think . . .

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