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Shock horror report

Local Library removes Enid Blyton from shelves

Shockwaves have reverberated worldwide since the announcement Thursday afternoon NZ time that the Villedale District Library had removed Enid Blyton from its shelves.

Reaction across social media was instant and mostly negative, with Instagrammer Caryn O’Keren saying that cancelling Noddy was woke gone mad.  She also said it was the work of so-called snowflakes, and hoped they would soon melt.

X user (formerly Tweeter) Jenny Rick was equally unimpressed, wondering if the next person to be cancelled would be the author of the famous Old Testament bibical series, Jesus.

Meanwhile on Faceback, a user called Y Sman agreed.

In a press release received too late to be included, Villedale District’s Chief Librarian Arthur Bettick-Lauder denied any books were being removed, or banned.  “It was the actual Enid Blyton,” he said.  “We all thought she’d been dead for years, from at least volume 32 of Secret Seven books, but it seems she’s been snoozing all this time, in the self-help and fitness section.”

Ms Blyton had not been discovered until now, Mr Bettick-Lauder surmised,  was the lack of demand for books in that section.  “We’re a small country community, it’s all Nietzsche and Hegel round here,” he said.  “And James Joyce.  Ulysses is booked out till 2027.”

Ms Blyton was given a shower and a cup of strong tea, and driven to the bus stop.

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