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Pop of the Tops new release out soon

craglpColin Crag, leader of the Conversative party who looks set to be New Zealand’s next Prime Minister if 99.96% of the voting public gets wiped out in a bird flu epidemic, is following in the footsteps of Kim Dotcom by releasing a CD of songs in time for the Fathers’ Day boot sales.

With a clever title referencing Mr Crag’s selflessness whenever he uses public transport, the album features 17 timeless hits brought up to speed to suit modern tastes.

“Col’s an up-tempo sort of guy,” musical arranger, producer and harpist Les Jusclappen-Thyme told WWNews after we agreed to buy a cartonful.  “He doesn’t want to bring people down with dreary downbeat stuff or that electro-rap nonsense – he likes happy bouncy music.  And he can really hold a tune, though sometimes a bit too tightly.”

Songs include evergreens such as Ghost Trails in the Sky, Hit Me With Your Bibbleschtick, and the perennial Christmas fave I Saw Mummy Kissing Dinosaurs.  “Col’s a big fan of Slim Dusty,” his producer said.  “So he’s taken one of Slim’s most famous songs and reworked it a little.”  Kickback on the Marginal Seat will be the first song from the album to be made into a video clip.

The record was produced with the help of session musicians who worked for free, and anonymously.  “Typical musos – they don’t want word to get out they’ll play for nothing,” Mr Jusclappen-Thyme explained.  “But take it from me, these guys are among the best – they know people who’ve played with Dave Dobbyn, and Lorde. In fact, Lorde was going to play on the album but her kazoo was broken, or so she said.”

Mr Crag himself was unavailable for comment, having been stuck in a giant footprint for several days. The album will be on sale at the Warehouse, Bunnings and Commonsense Organics on Monday, and is expected to lying in piles at Slowboat‘s backdoor shortly after that.


  1. Oolon ColluPhid Oolon ColluPhid 17 June 2014

    I think it has promise, but it can’t compare with Norman Kirks Cabinet Christmas Mix of ’73. I still remember Warren Freers hypnotic, carfree, “no oil, no oil” And Mr Kirks Junkety “Away in Malaysia.”

    • Doug Coutts Doug Coutts Post author | 17 June 2014

      Heck, the Law’s with Martyn Finlay, tra la la la la?

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