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Corkery apologises for name calling

sticks-and-stonesMintonet Party media manager Pam Corkery has apologised for calling tv reporters names at the opening commencement gala for the party’s election campaign.

Ms Corkery reportedly told reporters to “piss ***”, called one a “* ***** shit” and suggested the rest were all Whale Oil glove puppets for wanting to ask Kim-jim Henson sorry Dotcom questions that had nothing to do with playing down his involvement with the party.

“I’m sorry that I called members of the media names,” Ms Corkery told WWNews behind the safety (ours) of a tall fence. “It was a foolish and unwise thing to do and not what our party is about. Next time I will either try a crotch kick or get someone to change a few trademe passwords.”

Staying on the campaign trail, where Daily Blog blogger Martyn “Bambi [is that right? Ed]” Bradbury is also apologising – for the contents of one of his blogs last week. “It’s terribly embarrassing,” he told WWNews exclusively, during a break between blogs. “In the middle of one particularly well-written diatribe, sandwiched between a rant and an umbrage attack there was a joke. Well, not really a joke, more a light-hearted adjectival phrase – I didn’t notice it because I was too busy ensuring all my apostrophes we’re in the wrong place’s.”

Mr Bradbury assumes the offending five words were from an email he’d been sent being mixed up in a hurried cut and paste, but was unable to pinpoint which blog they’d appeared in. “It was probably last Thursday, one of the seventeen between 9.00 and 9.15.”

To sports now where fireworks have been banned for all future All Blacks matches. “There have been issues with the loudness and also the burniness,” assistant media assistant Andy Sover-de Lyne told WWNews. “Other than the safety factor, we have found the smoke is obscuring the final leap in the haka, which is of course why people go to watch rugby. Apart from the over-priced pies.” The NZRU is mindful of its obligation to entertain its fans, Mr Sover-de Lyne said, and would look at alternatives, such as aerial flour drops or scantily-clad cheer squads, both of which had worked in the past. “Which is where we’re at.”

Finally the weather, which is expected to continue. Colin Craig might have heard something more, but isn’t telling.

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