Non-celebrity calls for world peace

In a break with tradition, someone not an actor has addressed the United Nations General Assembly.

Cheston Horder-Narichoker delivered a three-minute speech to a packed airing cupboard earlier this afternoon, to mark Thespians Need The Odd Day Off Day. He spoke of the need for world leaders to recognise that common people have a voice as well, and that opinion-makers should not just be swayed by glamour pusses and muscly blokes who read scripts written by someone else, wear rented clothing and take three steps on cue for a living.

The speech was generally well-received although several people commentated afterwards that Mr Horder-Narichoker looked shorter in person, and could have done with more CGI.  World leaders couldn’t be reached for comment as they were having cocktails and canapés with Leonardo DiCaprio, Emma Watson and the cast of Greenacres.