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DWTS returns for second series – stars revealed

Just days out from the final finale of the current series of Dancing With The Stars, Mediaworks has confirmed there’ll be a second series, screening later this year.

“We’ve had such a fantastic response to the first series that we can’t wait to get started again,” spokesperson Phil Sapphier told WWNews on condition we didn’t breath a word until we’d used the Listerine. “The ratings were better than we imagined, and at TV3 we imagine a lot of our ratings I don’t mind saying!

“On top of that, the viewers didn’t seem to mind that the show was shot in the props basement with a CGI audience and laughtrack, or that we’d already decided the loser each week before they’d even voted. So a new series is our way of saying ‘thankyou’ to them.”

While the show’s format is basically the same, there will be one major difference, Mr Sapphier said. “New Zealand is a small country, and we don’t quite have the range of celebrities that other places do. So we’re only going to have four stars in the first five episodes, with very creative reasons for avoiding eliminations until programme six.”

Viewers will be invited to vote, via text, on how creative those reasons appear to be which will add to the appeal of the show, Mr Sapphier said. “And our stars will record their own musical backing during the rehearsal phase, which will help build up the jeopardy as well as reducing our Spotify bill,” he added.

Revealing just who the four star dancers will be, Mr Sapphier sounded a note of caution. “As I said earlier, we’re running out a bit. But thanks to a loophole in the Oxford Thesaurus of Broadcasting Terms, we’ve been able to redefine ‘celebrity’ as someone who is recognised by at least three other people. I’m sure everyone will be impressed.”

dancehall5f-4-webThe stars are:

  • Dwayne Parsons, a butcher from Putaruru who will dance each week in his white gumboots
  • Shen’niyia Strudgely, a stay-at-home mum from Lumsden who doesn’t leave the house but can Skype her performances
  • All of Eketahuna, who’ll take it in turns, one resident for every 8 bars
  • And Jay Jay Harvey, who’s still unaware she was voted off last week. “We’re not sure how to explain it to her,” Mr Sapphier admitted. “Plus we’re scared of her hubby.”

The new season of Dancing With The Who Are They will start on the first Sunday in October, unless everyone texts “Dear God No” to 0900 MOREDRECKON3 – texts cost $5.95, kids steal your mother’s phone first.


  1. Yvonne TAYLOR Yvonne TAYLOR 18 July 2015

    Am SO looking forward to the next series.
    Where can I get a typewriter like yours, please

    • Doug Coutts Doug Coutts Post author | 18 July 2015

      The typewriters are handcrafted by gnomes living in caves in the Ural mountains and are priced accordingly.

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