As reported by the Daily Telegraph. Some names have been changed.
* Even before his birth, the future leader of North Korea the USA was triggering miracles. Official biographers say his birth was foretold by a swallow and heralded by a double rainbow. When he was born, a new star appeared in the night sky.
* The first time he picked up a golf club, Donald reportedly shot a 38-under par round, including 11 holes-in-one.
* Donald has the ability to alter the weather simply through the power of thought.
* The fledgling leader was a genius as an infant, with official biographies stating that he had learned to walk at just 3 weeks and was talking at 8 weeks.
* As a junior high school pupil, he corrected and chastised his teachers for their incorrect interpretations of history.
* Donald wrote six full operas in two years, “all of which are better than any in the history of music,” according to his official biography.
* He designed the Trump Tower personally, and mined all the gold himself.
* Donald’s official biography claims that he wrote 1,500 books during his time at university.
* According to the Fox News Agency, the Donald is an expert on all aspects of the film industry and “improved the scripts and guided the production” of many films. His favourite movies are reportedly “Friday the 13th,” “Rambo” and anything starring Elizabeth Taylor.
* Donald reportedly employs a servant to inspect every grain of rice that is served to him. Any with the most minor of flaws is discarded. Much like his wives.