A new opinion poll released by a local tv station shows beleaguered Kiwi PM Jacinda has less popular support among the people than Soviet leader Josef Stalin once did.
Results just in have 55% of pollees saying they think Ardern is doing a good job, 22% say she’s really stink and another 22% couldn’t give a rat’s. The remaining missing percentage (sorry, the calculator app just died) clicked on too many traffic lights in Captcha.
What this means, according to head pollster Ima-May Kittup, is that Ardern has an overall popularitiness quotient (OPQ) of -7. “We subtract the big number from the little one, multiply the result by the Malarky Constant and have a series of meetings to discuss whether we need to tweak it a bit to get more clicks.”
Kittup says that historical research hows at the height of his popularity, Josef Stalin was very popular. “In fact, we couldn’t find any record of people who didn’t like him.”
“While it’s clear the Prime Minister needs to address several issues if she wants us to produce a poll showing her in a better light,” Kittup added.
The new National Party Leader was unable to make a comment to WWN, as he’s taken his team on a retreat to a Queenstown resort to work out why some people think they’re just a pack of showboaters with no social conscience.
Years after the dissolution of the Soviet Union, two former apparatchiks were overheard reminiscing about the good old days under “Papa Josef.”
“There was always a roof over your head, even if it was in a Siberian Gulag. You always had a job, food on the table, and when the cold of winter really bit, you could always find a queue to join and warm up in.”
And now I must warm up my cabbage soup, sharpen my quill, and write a sharp letter to the editor about the depressingly low number of Grammerlee advertisements on this blog.
I could get rid of the ads if I paid…
Sponsorship, that’s the answer. Off to work on a USP.