Press "Enter" to skip to content

Latest Poll: PM Worse than Stalin

A new opinion poll commissioned by Radio Woodshed shows beleaguered Kiwi PM Jacinda has less popular support among the people than Soviet leader Josef Stalin once did.

Results just in have 55% of pollees saying they think Ardern is doing a good job, 22% say she’s really stink and another 22% couldn’t give a rat’s.  The remaining missing percentage (sorry, the calculator app just died) clicked on too many traffic lights in Captcha.

What this means, according to head pollster Ima-May Kittup, is that Ardern has an overall popularitiness quotient (OPQ) of -7.  “We subtract the big number from the little one, multiply the result by the Malarky Constant and have a series of meetings to discuss whether we need to tweak it a bit to get more clicks.”

Kittup says that historical research hows at the height of his popularity, Josef Stalin was very popular. “In fact, we couldn’t find any record of people who didn’t like him.”

“While it’s clear the Prime Minister needs to address several issues if she wants us to produce a poll showing her in a better light,” Kittup added.

The National Party spokesperson for things no-one expected ever to hear, Paul Goldsmith said the poll showed just what people are thinking. “They’re thinking that if a leader is too concerned about showing her caring side, she’s not ever going to defeat Hitler. Or maybe I’m just thinking that.”

Be First to Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *