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Government announces scheme to reduce school-leaver unemployment

The Government will introduce a bold new initiative aimed at reducing the number of school-leavers heading straight onto the dole, according to Education Ministry assistant spokesperson Lila Lyrapansonphyre.

Speaking to a crowded media earlier today, Ms Lyrapansonphyre said studies had shown that a high number of school-leavers were struggling to find a job after leaving school. “The problem particularly affects those aged 16 to 18, so the emphasis has been on developing suitable outcomes around that cohort,” she said. “We have developed a scheme that will tap into that age-group and present them with a new range of employment options.”

The new Speaker of the House takes a quick tea break

The scheme, Lowering the Voting Age to a Ridiculous Level, will see up to 120 school leavers eligible for employment as members of Parliament before the end of 2023, with many more jobs in related ancillary support roles.

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