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Government appoints new health head

A new Director General of Health has been appointed by the government, in a move said by some to be a shameless grab for votes by an administration sinking in the polls and just typical by others.

A statement released yesterday and read to a crowded press conference by media head Lyra Pansenfyre says many candidates had been considered for the top job, including some with qualifications in medicine, corporate management and the public service. 

“While some of those CVs were impressive, and often neatly typed, the Government has decided to look beyond the square envelope. As a result we are pleased to announce the appointment of someone who, while not having a medical degree or any experience as head of a laboratory investigating blood conditions, has done sufficient research – in her own time – to give us confidence she is the right choice.”

Liz Gunn, a former broadcaster, starts Tuesday.

Liz Gunn, Director General of Health and Paella. TVNZ

In related news, the Government has announced the Ministry of Health will be expanded to include a Department for the Investigation of Chemtrails, Alien Abduction and Earthquakes as Gaia’s Revenge.

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