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The Weakly Whirled News

Headlines at 11.17

An angry father in Upper Moutere is taking his son’s school to court after the boy was sent home for refusing to sharpen his pencil.  Salazar duPont, a potter and rabbiter currently on a sickness benefit, said the school’s principal was unfairly targeting his son.  “By insisting on crisp letters sitting on the line, the school is stifling…